Archive for the 'Humor' Category

July 3rd 2009
Illustrated Song Of Solomon

Posted under Humor

The Song of Solomon Illustrated

(For our literalist friends)

WARNING WARNING VERY GRAPHIC!!!

“How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful you are!
Your eyes are like doves behind your veil.
… Your hair is like a flock of goats…
Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes…
Your lips are like a scarlet thread,
Your temples are like a slice of pomegranate…

“…Your neck is like the tower of David
built with rows of stones
on which are hung a thousand shields…
… Your two breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle
which feed among the lilies…

“… Your lips, my bride, drip honey,
Honey and milk are under your tongue…
And the fragrance of your garments
is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
Your belly is like a heap of wheat…

“… Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon,
which faces towards Damascus…”

From Song of Solomon chapters 4 and 7

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May 28th 2008
I Am Sorry…

Posted under Miscellaneous & Humor & Just For Fun

I am breaking the magicians code by posting the secret to this trick.

It was too good to pass up and thought you might like to learn it.

Please don’t share this with no one else.

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May 28th 2008
Funny Joke

Posted under Humor

A man shouted frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” the doctor asked.

“No!” the man shouted. “This is her husband!”

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April 21st 2008
carne asada is not a crime

Posted under Humor & Life & Culture & Just For Fun

i usually write about some of my current thoughts about the Bible, but i think today is time for a small departure into another part of my body…my belly.

i don’t know if you guys have heard about the recent crackdown on l.a.’s taco trucks, but the l.a. county board of supervisors decided, in their infinite wisdom, that the trucks should not be allowed to park for more than one hour in any spot or risk a fine.

let’s first think back to our own wonderful experiences with the almighty taco truck, shall we?  no, not the ones where you got sick and ralphed it all out, but the good experiences.

** cue the harp **

i still remember el capitan, my favorite taco truck ever.  it was parked in the same place on whittier blvd. for years, and i consumed my fair share of carne asada tacos there with friends.  what made this particular truck special though, aside from the great food, was the fact that they had a spout in the back with a watered down Tang substitue to wash down your grub.  oh joy!

if el capitan would have been forced to move around, we would never have been able to find it.  they may as well outlaw the trucks, this almost completely destroys their ability to do business anyways.

there’s a certain nostalgia for those of us that grew up in southern california for those trucks.  i can’t imagine them being run off the streets.  they are a part of what makes los angeles what it is, a part of the culture of our city.

listen, i haven’t eaten at a taco truck in a long time, i admit that.  but i also would not hesitate to do it even still.

if i want to sit at a greasy table and order my food from a waitress that looks less than excited to serve me (yet i still have to tip her, right?) and have it arrive on a plate, i will certainly choose that type of establishment.  but if all i have is $1 in my pocket and i just need to have my senses assaulted by delicious carne asada with cilantro, limon and salsa, the taco truck is my choice.

i don’t want to discuss illegal immigration here and whether or not they are the main owners of these tax-free establishments….visit someone else’s blog to whine about that if you want.  but for now, with my voice as loud as ever, my face covered with a bandana and pumping my fist in the air, i say…déme tacos o déme la muerte!!!

more reading:
la times article
carne asada is not a crime (fyi - i signed the petition. #518 baby!)

authors note (apr 22, 10:38am): last night, sonia, steve and i took gabriel to have his very first taco truck experience.  he loved it, and so did we.  el capitan is a distant memory…but my heart now belongs to la golondrina of el sereno.  * sniff sniff *

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March 9th 2008
Stop it!

Posted under Humor

This video is very funny. A must see.

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February 9th 2008
Some Of These…

Posted under Humor

Are very funny.

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January 27th 2008
Here’s A Joke For Ya…

Posted under Humor & Life

A fellow looked pretty worried when he arrived at the doctor’s office for his annual physical. Noticing the patient’s anxiety the doctor asked, “Is anything troubling you?”

“Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes,” replied the patient.  “You see, I seem to be getting forgetful.  No, actually, it’s worse than that.  I’m never sure where I put the car or whether I answered a letter or where I’m going or what it is I’m going to do once I get there, if I get there.  I really need your help.  What can I do?”

The doctor thought for a moment.  “Pay me in advance.”

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January 15th 2008
Country Music Kills!

Posted under Humor

countrymusicIf you’re a country music fan, and feeling even slightly down in the dumps today, STOP HERE. IT MIGHT NOT BE SAFE FOR YOU TO CONTINUE READING THIS. Instead, turn off that country music, and go to the happiest place on earth.

For the rest of you, I stumbled upon a research study that says country music may lead to suicide (and not just when you’re trapped in a car with a country music fan while on a road trip). This study says that the themes around which most country music revolves (“marital discord, alcohol abuse, and alienation from work”) nurture a suicidal mood. If you are not white, apparently you are not at risk, and may continue to listen to country music I suppose. “The results of a multiple regression analysis of 49 metropolitan areas show that the greater the airtime devoted to country music, the greater the white suicidal rate.”

I’m still coming up with ideas for combating this major societal problem, but if you are the parent of a white child, I will say this…do not let him or her attend college in Riverside, CA.

Our topnotch research staff found the following information:

• The authors of this study were awarded the Ig Nobel Prize for Medicine in 2004.

• After receiving hate mail, the researchers have now declared today’s country music “peppier” and no longer a threat to white country music fans.

9 Comments »